Here is some of the humor that has previously appeared on our site.
Words to Remember and Rules to Live By:
 | Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
| Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. |
| I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. |
| I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. |
| I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. |
| If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends. |
| If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough. |
| Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal in 37 states! |
| Quantum Mechanics - The dreams stuff is made of. |
| When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. |
| The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. |
Because we all deserve a Vacation:
Where should you go for your next holiday? Well, it all depends on your
present job. Here are the top US holiday destinations for various
occupations.
| Artists: Painted Desert, Arizona |
| Athletes: Olympia Heights, Florida |
| Candy Makers: Carmel, Indiana |
| College Professors: University City, Missouri |
| Ecologists: Green Bay Wisconsin |
| Firefighters: Smokey Mountains |
| Fortune tellers: Palm Springs, California |
| Geologists: Stone Mountain, Georgia |
| Gossip Columnists: Grapevine, Texas |
| Helicopter Pilots: Hoover, Alabama |
| Home Builders: New Castle, Pennsylvania |
| Jewelers: Pearl City, Hawaii |
| Landscapers: Garden City, Michigan |
| Lawyers: Accident, Maryland |
| Loan Officers: Fairbanks, Alaska |
| Lumber Jacks: Thousand Oaks, California |
| Manicurists: Finger Lakes, New York |
| Optometrists: Plainview, New York |
| Pastors: Chapel Hill, North Carolina |
| Pianists: Florida Keys |
| Podiatrists: Arches National Park, Utah |
| Politicians: Dodge City, Kansas |
| Prostitutes: Pleasure Ridge, Kentucky |
| Real Estate Salesmen: Loveland, Colorado |
| Refrigerator Repairmen: Chilum, Maryland |
| Retired Army Officers: East Point, Georgia |
| Sailors: Marina, California |
| Sheriffs: Marshalltown, Iowa |
| Tree Trimmers: Long Branch, New Jersey |
| TV Evangelists: Paradise, California |
Some Things for all of us to remember:
You know you work in Corporate America if:
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| You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. |
| Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. |
| Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. |
| The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note. |
| You learn about your layoff on CNN. |
| Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. |
| Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job. |
| You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. |
| You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. |
| It's dark when you drive to and from work. |
| "Communication" is something your group is having problems with. |
| You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor. |
| Free food left over from meetings is your main staple. |
| Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home. |
| Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital. |
| Art involves a white board. |
| You're already late on the assignment you just got. |
| When 100% of your time means 20 hours. |
| You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!" |
| Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube. |
| Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers". |
| Change is the norm. |
| The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube. |
| You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting. |
And finally, You know you work in Corporate America if...
| You read this entire list and understood it. |